My youngest girl is a lover. A rough lover! She loves with all that she has and unfortunately that means loving in the most obnoxious and painful ways (like her mother). Now just because I have the same difficult love does not mean that I enjoy that type of love. Honest, I can not stand that type of love. Get off of my face and love me like a real human being. But with this child I always keep in mind that this is how she loves, difficult or not, I must accept it.
Through every single fiber of my being I accept her love and give her love in return. I know that as she matures and grows older she will have a more centered and stable type of love but for now we must endure! She is the child who can not merely sit on your lap but sit on your lap with her face next to yours while petting your face.
Something I can certainly appreciate is her all or nothing approach. She will love you and she will love you with all that she has. Even when rejected, she will not accept your rejection but only love you more. As a mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend I want to give that type of love. I want to love with all that I have, even if it means that I will get burned in the process. I want to love so much that it may be uncomfortable but I'm giving my all and the receiver can feel that in every essence of my love. For me, there are times in motherhood that I actually become the student and my children become the teacher in ways they do not comprehend. Every time that little girl comes up to be with her love that just rubs me the wrong way, I accept it and love it inwardly that a two year old can have and give that much love and I, I am the one who has the pleasure of receiving that love each and every day.
Though it may not be easy as an adult, I want to give that love to others. I can remember back to my childhood the unfaltering love that I had for others. I remember that innocent giving of complete love to everyone and anyone. But the funny thing is that often times associated with love is also pain. I remember my love being rejected by friends and as a young child feeling alone. But is that really an excuse to not love as strong? I don't believe it is but I know at that moment in my life that my love strength diminished and was more selective and cautious. I feel a challenge with Lily, to give her the courage to love with her all as she grows older. Yes it will be hard yes she will get hurt but love is what makes life go on. It's the one drive that powers each human being to do good. Maybe the key is to continue to love and not accept the rejection. :) I too want to outwardly love with her and her unbelievably strong love. I will learn from her through the years and I will encourage her because, true love really can conquer all.
Though it may not be easy as an adult, I want to give that love to others. I can remember back to my childhood the unfaltering love that I had for others. I remember that innocent giving of complete love to everyone and anyone. But the funny thing is that often times associated with love is also pain. I remember my love being rejected by friends and as a young child feeling alone. But is that really an excuse to not love as strong? I don't believe it is but I know at that moment in my life that my love strength diminished and was more selective and cautious. I feel a challenge with Lily, to give her the courage to love with her all as she grows older. Yes it will be hard yes she will get hurt but love is what makes life go on. It's the one drive that powers each human being to do good. Maybe the key is to continue to love and not accept the rejection. :) I too want to outwardly love with her and her unbelievably strong love. I will learn from her through the years and I will encourage her because, true love really can conquer all.
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