My Steps

On this beautiful spring evening I seized a walk. My youngest daughter over the past two days has been driving me batty  with her stubbornness. A break was desperately needed for myself. After dinner I walked....alone. It was glorious!

 As I started to walk my normal route I decided to change it up a little bit because of memories. I have three friends who will be moving this summer. I have been fortunate to have them as part of my neighborhood. I took another route in the hopes of not being saddened by the normal changes of life. Strangely enough the more I walked the more sad and angry I became. I know this is completely childish but my question to God was, why does everyone leave me? Throughout my life I have been "left" by others. As a child I grew up a pastor's daughter at a church for over twenty years (still attend it). People would too often leave the church. Their reasons were not substantial for me as a child but they did what they thought was best for themselves and their families.


As I continued to walk I dwelt on the negatives of life and felt sorry for no one but me. Little did I know that I would be lead to some familiar people. My father has always stated the verse "the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord.". Every time he would cross paths someone he knew at the store he would recite this verse and still does to this day. My steps were certainly ordered by the Lord. As I walked I prayed for guidance and help because I was upset.

About halfway through my walk I saw a woman I knew driving by in a car who waved to me. Her son attended one of the daycares that I worked at as a young adult. I was honored to teach him preschool. The mother was born and raised here in our little town. After walking a few more blocks and I saw a little girl from church who's great grandmother and grandfather attend our church faithfully to this day. She and her two little friends were so excited to take a few minutes out of their play to tell me about their day. Now reminiscing on my walk shortly after I started my walk I was waved down by a girl who rides our church bus. I have had the privilege of being her Sunday school teacher. Being a few short blocks from home I talked with my neighbor while she walked her dog. She raised her children here. I look to her as a grandma. She is close to my grandparents age and always takes time out for me and my children. Lastly meeting my other neighbor walking his dog who again was raised in this area. All neighbors I "ran into" were those who have been in our neighborhood since we moved in about eight years ago. My path crossed with two of my friends who would be moving soon. After my walk I felt so blessed and as though the Lord gave me a hug. He reminded me there are still good people here. There are people I have a bit of a history with, people who care enough to stop and talk to me even the little five year old girl. People I have helped, loved, taught and cared for. I am still sad to see my dear friends go but I look at who God has planted in my daily path and I can still be apart of their lives and them in mine. I am so thankful for all these incredible people around me. Not just my close friends but my neighbors, my community.

Tears, Anger, Frustration, Eczema

My husband and I have been blessed with four beautiful children all of which are healthy. My two redheads had some eczema in the creases and folds of their arms and legs during their first few years of life. Hydrocortisone seemed to really help this skin disease and it never affected them too much other than the occasional scratching here and there. Their small skin condition was more of an annoyance than anything else.


I had no idea what eczema really was. For those of you mommas out there who have a child with severe eczema, you know what I mean. There are some children who have a very mild cases of eczema. Maybe in the result of a minor patch of dry skin. My son developed severe eczema, I'm talking eczema from head to toe. He would scratch so much that he would bleed during the night and have gashes on his wrists and ankles. It was bad.


Now thinking back on his infant year, he would throw up his milk often but not often enough to lose weight. The first sighting of eczema with him was around 6 months old. I had no idea what we were dealing with. I even decided to take him to the ER because the Hydrocortisone was not doing the job and I wanted to be sure it wasn't something else. I was very frustrated when the doctor asked me if I had ever Googled it. Really? No, why would I Google a severe problem that my child was having before sending him off to the ER? That actually makes sense! (Can you feel the sarcasm in that statement.) I was angry, but while in the ER the nurse did make an appointment with our family doctor concerning this issue. The nurse was awesome and very helpful suggesting oatmeal baths and other solutions since her daughter also had eczema.
After our doctor appointment the next day I felt a little better. The doctor recommended using hydrocortisone with Vaseline daily and using the Dove gentle bar soap. She also gave me some Eucerine eczema cream to try. For a couple months it worked, kind of, his eczema was always there.  It never cleared up like the minor cases I had seen in my older children. The very worst part was that it was also on his face. People would talk to me like I was a terrible parent because my son was disgusting and had this terrible rash. Everywhere we would go people would ask and talk about it. Not just friends and family but COMPLETE strangers!! I can not believe the nerve of people. Maybe they were trying to show concern but that's not how I processed it. Best advice from a mom to a curious person, just leave us alone we don't want to hear or answer the same question every time we go out in public. The truth is we may just snap on you because quite frankly we have children and our patience levels have already been used up for the day. I felt terrible for my little guy and everyone's comments made me feel even more terrible.

He was clearly uncomfortable and there was nothing I could do. I tried oatmeal baths, different creams and changing his soaps. Anything and everything within reason that I could find on Google or the suggestions from the doctor. The eczema cream and hydrocortisone was no longer working. Which made no sense to me because it had almost cleared up his skin before. Why doesn't it still work? Milo and I would both drown in tears. There were several late nights when he'd be up scratching his skin raw and just screaming. I felt helpless and completely exhausted.

TO BE CONTINUED....

Date Night

When my husband and I were young and dating date night was full of fun and excitement. We went wherever we wanted to go whenever we wanted to go! As a couple we were getting to know one another and loving every bit of it. Brian and I would stop and eat dinner, go bowling, see a movie or go play a sport. Date plans were our own time and nearly every weekend! It was great and we had fun. The "dating" didn't change too much when we were first married we still went out every weekend having fun and spending time alone.

About two years after we were married we had sweet little Eli and date night would forever change. It was still easy to have family "babysit" him almost every weekend. But as we had more children the harder it was to afford and find capable babysitters. We have always been blessed to have family care for our children. We are so fortunate to have my mom, mother in law, my sister (before college), sister in law and a few like family friends who have no problem caring for our kids. Planning the time becomes harder as our family grows and matures. For example this spring we had two kids playing soccer and daddy coaching soccer which didn't leave much free time. My husband is a homebody and weekly needs some down time at home with our family.

We live in a small town and there isn't much to do. There are a few local restaurants, fast food, bowling and Walmart. We have plenty of bars, if that's your thing but my husband and I do not drink. To change things up a bit and do something different we have to travel a good forty-five minutes. Now that we have several kids we usually keep it local because it's hard to ask someone to watch the kids for 4-6 hours. After a while I start to feel a little bad for whomever is watching them, especially since we are fortunate to have childcare from family for free! Without them I don't know how we'd ever afford a date, babysitters can get pretty expensive nowadays!

Date night means so much more to us now. We do not merely entertain ourselves but spend quality time together. Time that we don't even get at home. On a date we can actually talk without being interrupted or having to discipline a small child. It's so nice and reminds us why we're married, why we chose each other and why we go through this crazy life together. Because we love each other and are best friends. There is no one I would rather share my life with. I am constantly amazed by what a great father my husband is and date nights remind me what a great husband and gentleman he is. I love him and love our time together. When we have the privilege to plan date night all week long I am looking forward to our time. Though I often remind myself that one day we will have plenty of time to share and simply be together. Right now our focus is on our kids, loving, caring, and training them. But sometimes truly we need the time to ourselves and away from it all. Time to reflect, connect and enjoy. Date nights are now like mini vacations away from the responsibility of our little lives. Date nights are the best!

BE PREPARED!! for Sports Games

We do our best to attend every home soccer game. My husband is the coach as mentioned in a previous post Soccer Mom Soccer Wife Soccer Life. We do occasionally travel to games no more than an hour away. The kids seem to enjoy watching the games. I am starting to enjoy attending the games the older they kids get and my husband loves to have us there for support.

One thing I have learned after having four children, always be over prepared for anything because anything can happen with kids! Am I always prepared? No, afraid not. I can be very forgetful at times but I strive to be more prepared every day. One of my kids may just have an accident in their pants, one child could get hungry and all four kids may need a little entertainment. Preparation is so important for kids so that things may go just a little more smoothly.

For soccer games with the children I come prepared with snacks and or snack money. Snacks entertain my children like no other. The timing of the games always seem to be around dinner time and we will eat before or after but with my kids I have found that once they see other people walking around with food they want some too!

 I always bring plenty of toys. I have an extremely organized friend who puts all her kids toys in shoe box plastic containers from Walmart. The boxes are only a dollar! She is amazing at how organized she keeps her home! She is my organizing idol! ;-) To the games I bring a boy toy box (shoe box) and a girl toy box (shoe box). I remind them that they are fully responsible for their toys and they are to keep them up and always play where I can see them. This is my rule almost always you never know what those little rats will do or where they'll go unsupervised! 

I have a toddler who has just started potty training so I always bring his backpack too! Full of clean clothes, underwear, baggies, and wipes! You never know when that accident will come!

Blankets and sweatshirts are a must for any outdoor sporting event here in the midwest. From day to day we have no idea what the weather may be or when it will change. I try to be prepared with the warmth of sweatshirts and blankets! 

All in all we enjoy, love and have fun at soccer games, as long as we come prepared!

Brothers, Sisters, Friends

God has blessed us with four beautiful, healthy children. They are insane most of the time and completely adorable all of the time. My favorite part of the day is watching them positively interact with one another. But I really hate to see and hear those conflicting moments that cause them to argue and fight. When that ugly comes out I just want to throw it back in. I've always considered the sibling relationship a complete love hate relationship.

It warms my heart to see them connecting and enjoying a moment together. Often I feel like all they do is argue with each other. But in all honesty they love their siblings and have become best playmates. I'm ecstatic to see their relationship as siblings grow into friends. Brothers and sisters have a connection like no other relationship. We experience so much as children and even adults. We grow, learn, endure, support and care for one another. This is what we try to teach our children. I can not help but be saddened by strained sibling relationships. To me siblings should be one of the strongest relationships in the world. Receiving a call from a sibling in time of trouble should not be a regret but an honor and delight. We are connected by blood and nothing will change that. We are all apart of a family who needs love and support of everyone. There is always someone to look up to in a family. I hope in our family our children always take that very seriously. In a family there are no inactive members. Whether a family member chooses to become an "active" member or not they still impact the family unit as a whole. Sometimes the impact is positive sometimes negative. Why not be a good example full of love, care, understanding and compassion. Families should serve and love with their whole heart.

In play at our house there are Barbie spies, princesses and knights, super heroes, restaurants, libraries, house play and so much more! Watching their imagination go is incredible and I can not help but think back to my own childhood and how much fun my siblings and I had. I myself had a brother and sister and we had a great time together playing pretend I'm glad my children have the same opportunity.

Guess what? My siblings and I do not agree on everything! We never have, being a family is not about agreeing but supporting. We don't do the same things or even have the same taste. But I know without a doubt they are always there for me with a kind and understanding ear. I hope they feel the same way about me because I'm greatly blessed. As a child I prayed for a brother, I wanted a brother badly and that's what God gave me. After having a brother I had to have a sister too so I prayed for a sister and God has given me both. When we get in a rift I remember the prayers I had as a child and that's what really matters. What really matters is that God gave them to me! He knew for whatever reason I needed them and they needed me! ;-)

Uninterrupted Time

I am constantly trying to take time out to get things done, without the kids driving me crazy! Sometimes it's merely time out for myself but most of the time I take time out to get something, cleaned, cooked, organized or prepared. Seriously, can I have 10 minutes of uninterrupted time? Even when I take a trip to the bathroom I hear the chilling screams of, "MOOoooommm! It's greta to be needed and loved but this is over kill!

You guessed it, today I tried to get something done. I actually finished it this time but that's not always the case. I committed myself to a Zumba DVD workout first thing this morning. I have really struggled after having Milo to get physically fit and have the energy I need for my kiddos. The biggest problem for me is actually having the time. Okay, you got me I do HAVE the time I need to MAKE the time . Making the time that is also uninterrupted because there is nothing more annoying than starting a workout routine only to pause every 5 minutes.


Today I had a goal, my goal was to get up early (7am) and dance away. I knew I'd get up before most of the kids. To my unfortunate surprise not only was Lily, who I knew would be up first, but Milo was also awake. The not so morning person child of mine already whining and demanding food. I immediately knew I was about to see if my commitment was really important to me. I was not looking forward to the workout. Just as I anticipated the kids drove me insane the entire time.
I've asked myself a thousand times why this is so hard for me. I hate working out and I certainly hate being interrupted. I decided that whether I like it or not my children are teaching me a lesson. A lesson I've never been too fond of. A lesson of patience. Patience and determination. I've always had determination but quite frankly my determination is exhausted and stressed therefore not strong by any means. Patience is hard for me and always has been I am learning along with my children to take a deep breath and count to ten. Calm down for a second and remember that before I know it I'll have all the time in the world to have uninterrupted time. One day they'll all be grown up with their own families and I'll have the time I now crave and miss this age. Miss this age of wonder and excitement. I am told all too often that it honestly goes by too fast. Sometimes I need to step back, think and have a little perspective on my life even when things are hard. I will continue to stay determined and patient to do a workout in the morning. But I may have to tweak things a little bit but losing some sleep is easy to let go of than the time spent with my children.