Four Kids and a Wedding

This weekend our family went to my husband's step sister's wedding. We traveled two and a half hours away and we stayed the night at a hotel. I tried to have a plan and to be prepare for anything. I have now learned that perhaps there is no way to be prepare for everything that comes our way.

The kids did really well the majority of the time. In the car they played their Leappads and were well behaved with no major incidents. Once we got to the hotel we all got dressed for the wedding and immediately went to the wedding. The wedding was beautiful! It was vintage with lovely soft colors, I should have taken pictures. The kids were well behaved during the ceremony as well. Baby Milo got a little chatty but nothing too embarrassing.

Following the ceremony was the reception. There was a little time between the ceremony and reception. This was where I could have made a better decision. We went to the reception and the kids played outside for a while. After the fact I think we should have stayed outside longer or went somewhere else until the reception started. Instead we went to the reception early.

The kids just wanted to run around the reception, which was not an option. We let them play on the dance floor for a little bit but the wedding cake was front and center and that made me and Brian extremely nervous! I had a bag with quiet toys for each of them to play with and they did pretty well playing at the table except Milo! Milo was determined to get down and run. I speak for myself and my husband when I say more than anything that happened this weekend this particular thing drove us insane! Holding a toddler down and in place is nearly impossible. In the middle of the baby holding craziness Bella dropped her drink all over herself, the bags and her own seat. It was frustrating to say the least. Now looking back on it we could have spent our time more wisely or even if I just brought a stroller to wheel Milo around the room in. But I did not think of everything as I thought I had at the beginning of this trip.

What made me feel worse is that I felt like everyone was watching us and that most people found us a nuisance. This reception was an adult only reception excluding family which is why we were there. Perhaps others thought we were breaking the rules and shouldn't have been there. I'm not sure that anyone actually felt cheated or irritated but that's how I felt that they must feel that way. Why do we as moms feel this way? That our kids being a little difficult means that the entire room is dissatisfied and critiquing our parental methods? The real question is why should we even care? There is only one person whose opinion we should care about and for me that is God. Not anyone else. The truth is that everyone has experienced hard times with their children; ours at this moment happened to be in a large group setting. I try to find something to learn in each situation and here is what I learned this time, #1.I hope to think ahead and be better prepared next time. #2 As I go through this world seeing parents having a difficult time I want to encourage them and help them in any way that I can.

My sister in law and mother in law were great help to us on this trip. I appreciate all they did. Truthfully as stressed out as it was to take four children to a wedding I know that the Bride and Groom appreciated it as well as the parents of the Bride. We enjoyed getting out of town and spending time with my sister in-law, daughter and boyfriend which made it all worth it. Would I do things a little differently next time? Yes, I would but we had a good time and the kids behaved well.

"I'm Sorry"

Yesterday was a good day, things were going well here in the Boltz household. I was patient, happy and in control the entire day...that is until the afternoon. Following nap time the spell of peace and calm was broken and it only took a few short minutes. All four children were talking at the same time. Milo was fussy since he just woke up from his nap and was yelling in his high chair. Lily was speaking to me about something and Eli was asking me a question. I was in the process of transitioning the children to playing with play dough. During this loud craziness I started to get frazzled. Bella runs in with one of Lily's dresses, "Lily isn't your dress beautiful?!" Instantly all of the patience that I had for the day was gone. Bella did nothing but make more noise and it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I lost it and started yelling at her. I am not proud of this embarrassing moment of ridiculous outrage and impatience. I stormed out of the room and into my own room to calm down. I obviously was not okay believing that all the patience that I had was gone. Before I realized it I allowed that impatience to get the better of me. After calming down in my room I knew what I must do, one of the most humbling things, I feel, any parent must do apologize to my own child. I approached my daughter and other children saying,"I'm sorry, mommy shouldn't have yelled at you, you did nothing wrong."

In this situation I am reminded that apologizing to my children is extremely important. It shows them that mom is sometimes wrong too. It also shows my children that it's okay to say I'm sorry especially when it is genuine. Regardless of the reasoning, my behavior was unnecessary and faulty.

I and my husband are my children's first and most prominent example. Before they learn from anyone else they learn from us. At their young age all that really matters in their life is what mommy and daddy show and expect from them. Any parent understands that just because we tell our children something doesn't mean they will understand or learn. They are not always listening but they are continuously watching. Children are very intelligent, I think that sometimes they want to see how much you believe in what you are telling them. Is the behavior you expect from them what you truly want for yourself and others? I want to be what I expect from my children, in morals and behavior I don't want to have a double standard. Even if it means saying, I'm sorry.

Spring Time!

As a stay at home mommy I love all that spring brings. More than anything I love the perfect temperature, not too hot but not too cold. The outdoors do me and the kids wonders. The fresh air,  the sunshine, and exercise, it is truly fantastic! I feel like it gives us all some much needed balance after a long winter.

 

Yesterday we walked to my parent's home (1.5 miles both ways). Above is pictured the two in the wagon I pulled the entire time and the other two walking on the side walk together.This is the best way for me, as a busy mom, to stay active. What could be better exercise than pulling nearly 50 pounds while walking? Not only do I get fit but the kids are entertained. It's a win win!

After we spent time with my folks the kids played outside in our yard. This is the best thing about spring, the kids running off their extra energy and getting out of the house. They have so much creativity and imagination being in a different setting than all that the indoors have to bring.

Today we played at the park. There are several parks in and around town and each summer I try to visit each one. The kids had a lot of fun even though it was a little windy this morning but we still enjoyed the spring weather. We live near two parks and seem to walk there at least once a week. Again great exercise and entertainment!

This year is also Eli's second year in spring soccer at our local YMCA and he loves it! Since my husband is the high school soccer coach all Eli wants is to be involved in soccer just like his dad! We're all excited for his new soccer season and how he will continue to improve.
In the Boltz household spring time equals fun time!

Homeschool

I am a mommy blogger and try to keep my blog all things mommy topic related. I believe my children's education is included in one of my many mommy jobs. I am a homeschool mom. Brian and I have several reasons for homeschooling #1 At home I can guarantee my children's safety. #2 My children can learn at their own pace faster or slower, there is not a No Child Left Behind law for homeschoolers. #3 I can keep my children innocent a little longer and monitor what they are learning and hearing. #4 Having four children and my oldest only being five, homeschooling can simply be convenient for us.
I have nothing against public or private education. This is just they way we have chosen to teach our children at this time in their life. What works for one doesn't alway work for all.

I would like to share with you what we do and what works for us at home. Eli soaks everything up like a sponge. He is only five but is reading books with ease and recently started learning the multiplication tables. In most subjects he is in 1st grade except math he is in 2nd grade. The truth is if he was in grade school he would still be in preschool with the rest of his class and they would not advance him, maybe give him extra work but not advance his grade level. I do not use curriculum to teach my children. I use free online resources and just recently joined education.com plus membership. They offer unlimited copies of their worksheets and access to their educational online games for a small fee. I have also learned the Dollar Tree and Dollar General stores have a great selection of school books through grade school. In the photo above Eli is doing a reading lesson from his McGruffey Reader which is an old book but excellent for beginner readers. When I started to teach him to read I was looking for books to teach him to read. I quickly realized the "beginner" level books were just too much and didn't teach him more about reading. I have found that books with copy write to the 1940's are terrific at actually teaching reading and using repetitiveness to help speed up the process.

My mom homeschooled me and my siblings as children and she bought me this book recently which I am in love with! This book contains my true desires of homeschooling. My desires are making learning fun and this book reminds parents school doesn't have to be just writing papers in a cut and dry approach but learning can be fun using other projects and games to teach children the same thing but making school something that they look forward to day to day.Our new routine consists of one or two subjects of paper work and then fun creative learning time. 

Bella is learning the value of numbers and letters learning their names and what they really mean and do. I also have her trace and write her name using using this excellent website to make personalized tracer sheets http://www.kidzone.ws/TRACERS/NONE/index.asp.

Lily is still working on her colors and shapes but learns with Bella of letters and numbers as well as tracing her own name.

Homeschooling is not for everyone. I don't think everyone should do it. You must be committed, know why you are doing it and be an organized person. It's always a bonus to love learning yourself! I'm glad that I have the opportunity and ability to do this myself I think it makes a big difference in our home. Our children may not always be homeschooled but for now it's working and they're learning above and beyond the "standards".

But Do I Get a Break?!

Saturday my husband gave me time alone! I spent the majority of the day in a town about an hour away with more shopping opportunities than in our little town can offer. I had a great time with my little sister (below) getting the rest, relaxation and fun without the responsibility of four little ones! It was wonderful! I enjoyed every minute of it!

Here's my question, why can't a mom just have a break? Why do we as mothers somehow, by fate receive pay back for our "selfish" decisions? After I got home the evening grew progressively worse. Before I went to bed baby Milo had a very nasty diaper...twice. After I fell asleep my oldest son came in our room saying he wet the bed, he did not wet the bed... After I was woken up once again, by a dirty baby boy I could no longer sleep for several hours. I stayed up until my oldest son, this time, made it to the toilet and relieved himself of this disgusting virus that sneaked into our home. It was a long night. The very next morning Bella had this sickness too. Sickness in a family household is always bad but when you have multiple children the torture seems to never end! My refreshing relaxation has already diminished greatly.

As thankful as I am for the refreshing day I had,  I wish the evening could have ended in a great way. But this almost always happens to me, as if the kids were punishing me for not being home. But I know it's not their fault. They are my babies and none of them would ever trade a great spirit and fun for, what seems like, endless sickness.

This experience has been good for me to take a step back. Take a step back and see the big picture; each of my children were in pain, frustrated and tired. It's not about me, the mommy. It's about others and in this case my very own children. I will have you know that each of my children experienced at least a "touch" of the nasties in these two short days. No I do not like cleaning that mess up but even more I hate being sick. I understand that for an energetic and fun loving child, who has no idea what's going on with their little body is far worse than if I were sick. I'm praying for my babies and that this virus leaves our family alone and I can once again see gorgeous smiles on each of my little loves faces. Motherhood is not about us, the moms, it is about or children. Without our children we would not have the great pleasure of being a mom. I believe that being a mom is one of the greatest things I could be. My children make me the woman I am today. True motherhood is a calling to a servanthood like no other. Serving, loving and raising our children should always be our number one desire and not the desire of what we can do for ourself. I'm proud to be a mom not of what I have accomplished but of my children who are daily teaching me, helping me and loving me. In the future I hope to take the time to think of my children first in these difficult and frustrating situations. To answer my title question no moms, we don't get a break not a real one, not right now. In the not so distant future our children will be grown and on their own and not needing nearly as much of our help. Sometimes our life just needs a little perspective to remember what's really important.

Lots of Loves

My youngest girl is a lover. A rough lover! She loves with all that she has and unfortunately that means loving in the most obnoxious and painful ways (like her mother).  Now just because I have the same difficult love does not mean that I enjoy that type of love. Honest, I can not stand that type of love. Get off of my face and love me like a real human being. But with this child I always keep in mind that this is how she loves, difficult or not, I must accept it.

Through every single fiber of my being I accept her love and give her love in return. I know that as she matures and grows older she will have a more centered and stable type of love but for now we must endure! She is the child who can not merely sit on your lap but sit on your lap with her face next to yours while petting your face.

Something I can certainly appreciate is her all or nothing approach. She will love you and she will love you with all that she has. Even when rejected, she will not accept your rejection but only love you more. As a mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend I want to give that type of love. I want to love with all that I have, even if it means that I will get burned in the process. I want to love so much that it may be uncomfortable but I'm giving my all and the receiver can feel that in every essence of my love. For me, there are times in motherhood that I actually become the student and my children become the teacher in ways they do not comprehend. Every time that little girl comes up to be with her love that just rubs me the wrong way, I accept it and love it inwardly that a two year old can have and give that much love and I, I am the one who has the pleasure of receiving that love each and every day.

Though it may not be easy as an adult, I want to give that love to others. I can remember back to my childhood the unfaltering love that I had for others. I remember that innocent giving of complete love to everyone and anyone. But the funny thing is that often times associated with love is also pain. I remember my love being rejected by friends and as a young child feeling alone. But is that really an excuse to not love as strong? I don't believe it is but I know at that moment in my life that my love strength diminished and was more selective and cautious. I feel a challenge with Lily, to give her the courage to love with her all as she grows older. Yes it will be hard yes she will get hurt but love is what makes life go on. It's the one drive that powers each human being to do good. Maybe the key is to continue to love and not accept the rejection. :) I too want to outwardly love with her and her unbelievably strong love. I will learn from her through the years and I will encourage her because, true love really can conquer all.

No Daddy...

The past two days have been exhausting for me! My husband has been gone to training for work since Tuesday morning. He just came home last night, right around bed time. Originally I was scared to be left alone with my kids for that long.  Now that I am through the woods I have done it and have complete faith that I could do it again!

I have actually had fun with the kids! We played together and I spent quality time with each of them. That special quality time has helped our two days to go by smoothly. They have not been perfect but well behaved. I have not lost my mind once. Perhaps my husband is praying for my sanity to stay intact. Because I'm surprised at how well this is all working.

We have built forts, played games, watched movies together and finished school work. I am so tired but wouldn't trade that time for anything!

Again I'm thankful for my mom taking the kids on Sunday night and my friend has the kids over for a little play date yesterday afternoon. I'm thankful to the both of them! They have encouraged me and relieved me!

I now know that I may be capable of handling more than I really know. With patience and God's help I can be the mother I need to be and step up to the challenges life gives me in motherhood!